To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I can tuck mytits in my pants
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
