I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
