so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
