I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize