$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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