If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
