so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
