yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
