Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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