dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
