you guys were way drunker than both of me
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
