we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Randomize
