I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Randomize
