I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
