So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?�
Randomize
