I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
