You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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