I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I feel like death gave me a hand job
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Randomize
