I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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