Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
