Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
