I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
