It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
