You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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