i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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