if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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