Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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