dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Randomize
