I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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