I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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