still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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