its not stalking. its research.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
