Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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