Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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