Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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