It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize
