We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
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