Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I think my moral compass just broke
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
