If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
