i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
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