You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
