Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
