He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
