Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
