Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
