forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
