So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
