He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
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