and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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