There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
